Breaking up is never easy and a sudden break up without reason leaves you devastated, wondering what went wrong and looking for ways to fix the problem and get your boyfriend back. When you are in this situation it is important you take a step back and try to see things from your boyfriends’ perspective.
Do an honest self appraisal to try and remember if you did anything wrong or out of the ordinary to warrant this break up. Also you need to be sure that you truly love him and really want him back before seeking a reconciliation. Don’t make this decision lightly or for the wrong reasons because it will only compound the problem and you both will end up yet again in a failing relationship.
1. Give Him Some Space:
After your boyfriend has made this decision to break up, he is probably in a place where he needs time to himself to think things through. Obviously, the usual reaction to a break up is being very emotional; a lot of crying and begging, constant calling and seeking attention.
Control your emotions and do not let him see how affected you are by the break up. Avoid constant calling and texting lest you be branded a stalker. This will only put him off and not give him a chance to miss you or think about the good times.
Don’t be needy, take some time for yourself to evaluate your past behavior and to try and understand why the relationship ended. During this time out, come up with an action plan to get him back. Do not leave him alone for too long though, he might not be the type to wait around for long except you know otherwise.
2. Be Strong, Confident and Positive:
A confident woman is an attractive one. Do not worry about what other people think about you but what you think about yourself. Think good things, visualize a happy life and work towards it. A break up may seem like the end of the world now but it could mean the beginning of a new and more fulfilled chapter in your life.
Do not give him the upper hand but take control of what happens next and how it happens. Always dress your best, smile with confidence when you see him and do not shy away. Instead walk up to him, have a friendly chat but keep it short with a “talk to you later” farewell. This will keep him wanting and wondering why you do not want to be all up in his space.
3. Find Ways to Remind Him of the Good Times You Shared:
You have to be subtle and do this with tact. You don’t want to push too hard or put him on the offensive. Don’t blame him for the break up but focus on your goal of getting him back.
After not talking for a while, when you first make contact, bring up fond memories in a friendly off chance manner. This is a good way to remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place. Do you remember the person you were when he fell in love with you? Have you changed?
Try to make him see that you are the same person or even a better person. Don’t go too far at the beginning you don’t want all your cards on the table at once.
4. Does He Still Care?
This is very important because if he doesn’t care for you anymore, then you don’t want to be with him. However, if you still want him back, you have to make him start to care for you again by first caring for yourself.
Observe his behavior towards you, he will drop subtle signs unknowingly that he still has feelings for you. Once that is established, then you can start working your magic to win him back.
5. Turn the Tables Around by Breaking Up with Him:
Well obviously you are no longer dating because he broke up with you but now you have to make it seem like you are not interested in him anymore and have moved on with your life. He will be wondering how come the total 180.
Let him notice that you have other things going on for you besides pine away for him. Yes, at the beginning you wanted him back and still do but he won’t know that. He will now see you in a different light and realize that if he doesn’t act fast he will lose you for good.
6. Do Not Obsess Over the Break Up:
Don’t mope around feeling sorry for yourself because it really doesn’t change anything or help for that matter. You will only be doing yourself a disservice. Instead, get back into the world and mingle.
Get a new job if you do not have one, join the gym or a dance class, learn something new like baking or a foreign language, you will have less time to miss him.
Have a life plan or an agenda that keeps you busy and feeling good about yourself. When you are breaking new grounds, you find that you love yourself more and it shows on the outside.
You will exude self confidence and this will make your boyfriend envy your progress without him and induce his longing for you. At this point, he will see that he is missing a good thing and want you back. Now it’s your turn to play hard to get because you shouldn’t make it easy for him.
